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Technical/Operations

Tachyon beams used to locate petroleum deposits

SAN FRANCISCO, California - Starfleet Enterprises of San Francisco is using a tachyon beam to probe the geologic history of promising areas for oil...

Skunks to Replace Methyl Mercaptan in Natural Gas Odorizing

EDMONTON, Alberta - In a bid to appease environmental lunatics and the New Democratic Party (NDP), Alberta Natural Gas Energy Resources (ANGER) announced today...

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

PNG golf tournament delayed when geologist stumbles upon rocks

CALGARY, Alberta - Play stopped yesterday at the Sphincter Ridge golf course in northeast Calgary.  The Petroleum Exploration & Explanation Association hosts its golf...

Area geologist undertakes huge mapping project

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOUSE, Alberta - Airplane hangars.  They are not typically associated with oil and gas other than they are sometimes strategically placed near...

420 MMbbl oil pool discovered in Compton, CA

LOS ANGELES, California - In a stroke of chemically induced ingenuity, senior geophysicist Smokey Reefer with Oakland-based Vapobong Resources believes he has discovered an...

NDP to offer Canadian geologists full pension to retire

OTTAWA, Ontario - Early this morning, at a small video press conference with Premier Notley, the federal and Alberta provincial leaders were proposing ideas on...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been able to find rather strong correlations between various sexual...

2P News Staff

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Dear Andy

Dear Andy: How can my team still have fun this Stampede...

Andy Killinger, 2P Staff CounselorDear Andy: "My name is Marvin McGlavin. I'm a 2nd-tier team lead at an intermediate oil and gas company in downtown...

Environment

EPA approves high-pressure subsurface fluid filtering

DENVER, Colorado - While continuing to keep oil and gas hydraulic fracturing environmental legislation very strict throughout the United States, the EPA just this...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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