Recent News

Technical/Operations

VP of HR fired for using excessive buzzwords in company-wide email

CALGARY, Alberta - Cheaterson Energy's stock surged in early morning trading shortly after straight-talking President and CEO, Bruce Richardson, fired his VP of Human...

Token Resources invents THC enhanced MEOR scheme

NELSON, BC - In a remarkable improvement to tertiary oil recovery methods, Token Resources, headquartered in Nelson, British Columbia, has invented and trademarked a...

Lifestyle

Geology/Geophysics

Problem geologists need help: WOOPS

EDMONTON, Alberta - In response to the sorry state of affairs in the profession of petroleum geology, the World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS)...

Porosity exchange theory gaining traction with geologists

CALGARY, Alberta - A group of scientifical geologists with the Canadian Geofantasy Network are postulating a theory that is starting to gain traction within...

BREAKING NEWS: Geophysicist Bre-X’d after 3 dry wells

CALGARY, Alberta - Breaking news this Monday morning here in Oil City.  A tragic death over the weekend has now been reclassified from an...

Toyota creates Prius Geologist Edition, can’t keep them in stock

TOYOTA CITY, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation announced today that it has released a special Prius Geologist Edition to the North American market,...

2P News Staff

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Dear Andy

Dear Andy: I suffer from stage fright taking a pee at...

Dear Andy: My name is Adam. I am Joint Venture Representative at a mid-size operator in Calgary. Ever since I was a teenager, I would get very nervous taking...

Environment

Geothermal efficiency increases to 3000% thanks to fracking

PITTSBURGH, PA - In a move that has pitted right-wing reactionary environmentalists against left-wing radical nature-lovers, a Harrisburg, PA-based geothermal provider recently took advantage...

People's Choice Articles

Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil

CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...

GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making

CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...

Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot

CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...

No pipelines, no trains, just Ass

HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak.  Got it.  Trains derail.  Got it.  So what is the...

Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...

HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys

CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...

Former oil company executive relegated to greeter

CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...

Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map

HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...

Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review

The Bottom Line This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts. Director-Screenwriter Francis Birch Cast Brad...

Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story

Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...

Back in the Day

Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with...

Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with...

Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density

CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer...

Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going...

CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources...

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