BallSmack Oil Services announces 44% Platinum dividend

CALGARY, Alberta – One drilling rig, 2 service trucks, 16 pump trucks, 87 tanks, and a control center.  Pump it up, throw the switch, and you have a massive amount of pressure thrown into a small hole in the ground, breaking and busting the rocks anywhere and everywhere it can.  A frac job.  Hundreds of patents, processes, and variations of this event are practiced today, but they all essentially do the the same thing.  BallSmack Oil Services offers a similar service, but with one big difference, a 44% Platinum dividend for priority shareholders.

CFO
Shindle Shisterston, CFO

We felt the need to offer a rewarding and effective dividend to our true believers.  They have put their faith in us, and we in turn reward them for their faith.  Some say the Platinum dividend process is akin to bribery, but I can ssure you it is not.  It is simply a fair reward for the risk our investors take. – Shindle Shisterston, CFO BallSmack Oil Services

Mr. Shisterston described the Platinum Dividend process as follows.  Upon selection of BallSmack services for completions work, a personal rewards card is granted to the signing authority of whichever operator is using the service.  For each subsequent use, the card is swiped and points are awarded to the card holder, much like Airmiles or ChuckyBucks from Chucky-E-Cheese.  For every 1000 points on your rewards card you get a share in BallSmack, issued quarterly.  At year end, each share is receives a 44% dividend on 1/5th of the TD-6 percentile share value, per quarter.  “In essence, we aren’t sure what is actually being awarded, but shareholders seem happy with results,” continues Mr. Shisterston.

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Joremy Mikaels, VP

I have been using BallSmack for quite a while now, because of their patented FracBall™ technology. I can order a little ballsmack or a huge ballsmack, depending on what I need. They will even do a little stimulation (I call it a tickle) before a monster ballsmack – it all works.

And to top it off, I received a climbing dividednd of just over $600,000 last year, and it promises to be even better this year.  I think it is a great company to have shares with, they really take care of their investors. – Joremy Mikaels, VP Completions at Reacharound Resources

Share price for the Calgary-based service company has surged from a base of $3.21 per unit share to an astronomical $456.98 per share over the last 5 quarters.  Business has seen steady growth and is set to outpace even the global completion sales records set by CanFrac and Sanjay LLC.  Although individual or broker share sales make up nearly none of the growth, share awarded through the points card are dominating the makeup of BallSmacks investor base.

But shortly after hearing of this investment scheme, The Canadian Stock Exchange Securities Commission issued a warning to investors as it halted trading of BSOS.TO shares until it has time to complete a thorough investigation into the scheme, which it believes may be dodgy.