Tests Show BangStim™ Outperforms Fracking

WEYBURN, Saskatchewan -In a series of tests in the Bakken formation of Saskatchewan an old type of stimulation has been revived and proved to be equal to or better than hydraulic fracturing.  T. N. Teeblast, CEO of Shockley Petroleum Services, presented convincing evidence  of their BangStim™ process’s success at the recent World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS) annual convention in Horseterred, Colorado.  He said,

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Mr. Teeblast, CEO Shockley Petroleum

The concept goes back to the early history of oil well stimulation in the 19th century when ‘torpedoes’ filled with black powder were used to stimulate wells in Pennsylvania.  The explosion of the torpedo would literally crack a tight formation wide open.  We’ve updated the concept using a new, far more powerful explosive and shaped charges. – T.N. Teeblast, CEO

The new explosive, known as CL-20 (2,4,6,8,10,12-hexanitro-2,4,6,8,10,12-hexaazaisowurtzitane), is reportedly the most powerful chemical explosive in the world that is stable enough for practical use. It was developed by the U. S. military at the China Lake Naval Air Weapons Station in California.

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CL-20 (aka 2,4,6,8,10,12-hexaitro-2,4,6,8,10,12-hexaazaisowurtzitane)

Mr. Teeblast added, “We can string together as many cannisters of the explosive as needed on a wireline, so thick intervals of formation are not a problem. Furthermore, we can accomplish in a couple of hours the same or better results than a conventional hydraulic stimulation that takes days and costs much more. The only downside to the process is that a couple of times we blew off the wellhead and the drilling mud in the hole was launched into the stratosphere.”

Mr. Hoal E. Mackerel, of SuperGiantMegaHyper Oil Co., a two-man operation in Moosepie, Manitoba, enthusiastically gushed,

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Mr. Mackerel, from Manitoba

Let’s face. A big frac job costs a shitload of money. A BangStim™ costs about a tenth of that and we got excellent results. You need to brace yourself, though. When that stuff goes off it’ll bounce you about a meter in the air. – Mr. Hoal E. Mackerel

However, the inevitable protests started almost immediately. Ms. Hortense Delilah Pantiwaste of the Citizens Opposed to Whatever (COW) whined, “How do we know that this won’t split the entire world in two? Then how would I get to see my grandbabies in Nova Scotia?

Bell E. Aiker, representing the Natural Resource Denial Council, moaned, “What if terrorists got their hands on these ‘torpedoes’? They could use them to blow up dams and power plants. Wait, that’s what we want to do ourselves.”