With well over 1745 employees, including field staff, managing a solid 321 boepd, we are committed to providing interesting careers for talented individuals in the oil and gas industry who like to manage and lead. At LOGICminus Resources, we encourage initiative and career growth for seasoned and up and coming leaders to help us continue to build our vertical (or super-stacked) organizational structure where title is always more than doing. You may not really do much work at LOGICminus, but you will feel very important with a leadership or management note to your title.
Key Responsibilities and Accountabilities
LOGICminus is pleased to announce the creation of a Leaders and Administrators of Management Excellence (LAME) in its Houston office. The focus of LAME is to help foster leadership development for the company, with a strong focus on pandering to the C-Suite to advance your career. Key deliverables include delivering the most vertical organization structure allowed by corporation statues, providing maximum leadership and management overhead, all while reducing operational effectiveness to bare-bones minimum levels and engineering and geoscientific moral to unprecedented lows.
LOGICminus currently has a vacancy for a Leader of Team Leading Leaders for the LAME to join our team in Houston. Reporting to the VP of Leader Management, this position will conduct integrated leadership studies to assist in leadership skill evaluation, optimizing leader productivity and corporate social status, and maximizing leadership value to LOGICminus’ various levels of leadership. The main responsibilities will include psycho-evaluating and screening of engineers and geologists for leadership roles and forecasting productivity performance of leaders and managers throughout the organization.
Other duties include, but are not exclusive to, the following:
- Ensure that highly skilled engineers and geoscientists whose sole responsibility is to make money for the company, are as technically unchallenged as possible and demoralized to previously unheard of levels
- Provide guidance for optimizing the status of your role and the roles of other leaders, managers, leading managers, senior management, executive senior management, executive leadership, and executives
- Conduct longer term, more complex studies to determine ultimate demoralizing strategies for hands-on operational staff, including psychological beat downs and various tormenting and torture techniques
- Evaluate the mental state and ambition of engineers and geoscientists and ensure that any one of these types who appears to make management look bad are jettisoned from the company (physically, by slingshot)
Required Education, Experience and Skills
A Bachelor’s of Middle Management degree from a recognized university
- Recent graduate of the UofC’s New Circular Experience Program
- Must have read and memorized the brand new book by Elony Groundgrass entitled, “Kissing Ass to the Top: How to Brown Nose Your Way to the Top of the Corporate Ladder”
- The innate ability to destroy productivity among key operational, non-management, staff is a significant asset
- Working knowledge and experience in poor management styles is a must
- Strong working knowledge in MicroShaft Windblows
- Expert proficiency in pumping your boss’ tires
- Very poor analytical and communications skills are mandatory
- Ability to not be able to adapt to changing strategies and market pressures
- Ability to work in a snail-paced environment while promoting silo-based individual teams and ineffectively engage others in support of projects and initiatives that will drive business
- You must be a registered professional member of the Administrative Strategic Status Hoarding Advisory Taskforce (ASSHAT) in good standing
Only qualified candidates will be contacted for an phone interview conducted by our automated Artificial Intelligence-based engineer/geoscientist screening tool that can easily detect candidates with common sense and instantly eliminate them from consideration.