EDMONTON, Alberta – A new concept in environmental management has surfaced near the town of Barndoor in Southeastern Alberta this week. After dealing with ugly locations and just ‘dreadful’ curb appeal, E.E.P. Environmental Consultant Princess Jones has a new strategy to clean up the perception of the oilfield. Bury the dirt. Yes, that’s right, bury the dirt.
Late Wednesday morning, Princess had arrived at a location on which she was conducting a 30 point pre-drill site assessment, only to find piles of soil everywhere around the lease. After becoming thoroughly disgusted, spilling her Starbucks, and daintily tripping through the mud, she had a terse conversation with on-site construction manager Kenny Fuggpork.
She was all crying and whining and there were tears, I think, and she talked about owls and fish, and well, she didn’t a make a whole lot of sense, but hey, shes got a job to do. I say do it. She wanted to clean up the site, so I told her we could bury the dirt. Problem solved.
Princess filed a formal proposal with the OGRB in Alberta to make it mandatory for all operators in Alberta to bury the dirt that is stripped from leases, and keep the province ‘neat and tidy’.
All I want is a beautiful place to raise my Morkies and ensure that people visiting here from other places don’t have to look at piles of dirt everywhere they go. I mean really, who wants to drive through a countryside filled with piles and piles of dirt. If we bury it, the problem goes away.