3 ducks killed crossing street, PISD protests driving

Commonly seen, ducks are everywhere
Commonly seen, ducks are everywhere

CALGARY, Alberta (AP) – 3 mallard ducks were killed Wednesday night as they crossed a road to find open water in Midnapoore.  The ducks were struck by a fast moving Pontiac Geo, which killed 2 ducks instantly, sending the third to a veterinarian clinic in critical condition.  He later died from his injuries in hospital.

Although most citizens see ducks as a wild animals that get in the way of cars and disrupt traffic, a dedicated group of card carrying PISD (People In Support of Ducks) members are rallying support for a new initiative to ban most automobiles within city limits, and severely modify those that remain on the streets.

The movement hopes to set guidelines and make vehicular wildlife safety measures mandatory if an individual wishes to continue driving on city streets.  Modifications might include foam and rubber bumpers on extremities of cars and trucks, and possibly trains and buses as well, all at the owners cost.

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Gracy Muffglitter, PISD

There is never an easy solution when it comes to duck safety, and it is about time this city took its duck population seriously and enacted measures to protect them from crazy drivers and those death machines.  If we pad and wrap and stuff our death mobiles, maybe we can save just one ducks from tragedy.  Ducks are people too! – Gracy Muffglitter, PISD

Druh Farrell of Calgary City council agrees with PISD and has apparently already brought the proposal to city council, with proposed amendments.  She has added a suggestion that Calgary create a new bylaw officer division, and hire 4 Duck Safety Officers to patrol areas highly populated by ducks, to make sure they are safe and cared for.

I’m not sure what she’s asking of us, really, but the whole thing seems ridiculous.  I love ducks as much as Mayor Ford likes crack cocaine and hookers, but I’m not about to go all haywire for ducks.  We barely have money for the things the city needs, and ducks get slated into the timetable for council to discuss?  Sometimes I want to wear a black suit and just go medieval on people, like Ford does in his YouTube videos.- Mayor Nenshi

Speaking for Ducks everywhere
Speaking for Ducks everywhere

PISD has made calls to Green Peace and the Sierra Club, but as far as 2P News has noted, no one has returned the calls or officially pledged to support the initiative.  A PETA spokeswoman was seen leaving the PISD office in Dover, but would not comment on participation either way.

An official protest is slated for Friday morning, and so far confirmed attendance is going to a record setter for the PISD group, with numbers reaching as high as 22, pending fair weather.  With all the fanfare about ducks, it is hard to imagine how anyone else in the city can sleep at night.