CALGARY, Alberta – A group of 13 geologists in Alberta’s largest city have made a stand against the ranks of TCEGWC (or The Collective of Engineers and Geoscientistologists of Western Canada) today, forming a new association exclusively for geologists.
The move was prompted by a ritual hazing event whereby geologists-in-training were forced to swallow a substance produced by engineers. One can probably guess what that substance may have been. Senior geologist with Random Name Resources Ltd., Kenneth Litharenite, was quoted as saying,
I’m tired of being bullied and essentially abused by TCEGWC. I get hate mail, there are pictures of me in the shower all over the weekly magazine, and they are always asking me to do math. MATH!!!
It’s not fair, and I’m moving on. VIVA LA AGTATE!!!!
The new group, officially registers as the Association of Geologists That are Tired of Engineers (AGTATE), is seeking to take all the geoscience members from TCEGWC and re-invent the wheel with a geological focus (Editor: can geologists focus?). The group will control the amount of licking and touching done on crop-outs of rock, as well as limit time and exposure to core in the vaults of a laboratory in an attempt to lower the risk of penile dysfunction so common in geoscientific individuals (female geologists also suffer the effects of penile dysfunction, sort of, in a round about way).
The new group held a protest on downtown Calgary’s busy pedestrian Stephen avenue yesterday, with signs that did not accurately reflect what they were protesting, but the presence of people yelling was enough to get patio-goers chuckling.
Future plans involve an occupy demonstration inside the wire frame head at Bendovus’ new Beau Tower, and a 20 minute hunger strike at Flames Central prior to the Stanley Cup.