Hasbeens Alberta coming to SeeTV, starring Redford and Smith

CALGARY, Alberta – A new Alberta-based reality television series is set to launch this summer cast with a slew of outdated, embarrassing, and bypassed superstars.  Hasbeens takes what little light these former legends still have left and uses it to entertain the audience with a rather creative spin on two other popular shows, The Apprentice and Big Brother Canada.

Jordin Schnitzel, SeeTV
Jordin Schnitzel, SeeTV

We want to create the very best of what Canadian television can offer.  We are going to pit these ex-celebs against each other in an oil and gas exploration environment, but also make them live and love together like Big Brother, with a few weird and zany challenges tossed in like Survivor.  It’s going to be very interesting to see how it plays out with audiences. – Jordin Schnitzel, Senior Producer with SeeTV

Hasbeens will revolve around an Apprentice style reality show with a sharp oil and gas focus.  The participants will either be from Alberta or have direct ties to the province.

Season 1 will cast washed up, retired, failed and or shamed participants including Elisha Cuthbert, Alison Redford, Paul Gross, Ed Stelmach, Tommy Chong, and of course Alberta’s own fabulous traitor, Danielle Smith.  Special guest stars may include Jason Priestly and Stephane Dion.

Hasbeens will make the participants try to work together to breathe life into a failing exploration company that has yet to be named.  The contestants will divide into teams and run the business for the 6 month duration of the show and, if successful, all proceeds from the sale of the renewed corporation will be spent trying to fix the current Conservatives mess.

While not running or ruining an oil company (likely the latter), the participants will live together and be involved in challenges and daring stunts.  Bobbing For Apples is one example, but a new variation using a bucket of frac completion fluid.  Another challenge will be the Human Obstacle Course, where two thirds of the cast will be drunk and hog tied while the others try to navigate a room of them blindfolded without spilling a glass of crude oil (this is meant to mimic the idiocy of government).

Tim Haregeddy
Tim Haregeddy

I am not sure this will do anything for Redford, and I’m pretty sure that Tommy Chong just wants to watch this play out.  It should be fairly entertaining at the least, and most likely popular in highly populated regions of Ontario and Quebec where the general IQ is lower than most everywhere else.  I can’t believe Ms. Smith signed on, but I suppose she has to pay the bills now, and a come back like this worked for Tonya Harding even though more people still liked her after the ‘incident.’ – Tim Haregeddy, Political Analyst, Mount Royal

As the show commences filming its future is uncertain.  One thing producers are adamant about is a minimum of 2 or 3 seasons.

2P News hopes this is indeed the case, and has sent an email warning the Prime Minister to fly straight, or Mr. Stephen Harper may be included in a future production.

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The Honorable Antoine McGuilicuddy is a 2P News co-founder. Studying geology was just the tip of the iceberg for this iconic oil and gas dynamo. Frustrated with the idiocy and general stupidity of most of his peers, he transitioned into 2P with smile, and hasn't looked back since.

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