Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons

CALGARY, Alberta – Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new set of specialty geology crayons for mapping, coloring, sketching, and doodling just about anything to do with rocks.

Rocky has been working for Quebec De Neuf Aerondrille, which is a partially owned subsidiary of Hollimorton, with joint interest in the Gatineau Referendum on Productive Ancillary Development of Resources, to develop a medium that will accurately reflect geological interpretations.

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Rocky Mindsporge – file photo

After an 18 month development program with countless litres of Starbucks’ coffee to help get his creative juices flowing, Rocky was sure he had the answer. The ultimate crayon for a geologist would be hard to lose;  capable of writing on any surface be it paper, desk, walls, floors, books, other peoples’ books, and countertops.  It would also have to be extremely hypoallergenic, since most geologists are quite sensitive to just about anything.

The solution was a complete departure from normal crayons or colored pencils.  Rocky ultimately developed a washable fingerpainting compound that could be produced in a variety of colors and textures to reflect porosity and permeability in an incredibly artistic fashion.

The new product line will be aptly named Rock-Ons, and they will be sold at specialty geological shops throughout North America with marketing focus in downtown Calgary, Houston, Dallas, Denver, and Oklahoma City, where there is an explosion of map coloring and doodling that fuels area Oil and Gas head offices.  The system comprises a glove with armband injectors for the petroleum based paint. The user simply bends each finger to dispense a given color, giving freedom from brushes and cleaners, and providing an incredibly ergonamic and tactile feel. Any number of colors can be created by simultaneously bending various fingers to varying degrees.

I thought my kids were talented, but man, when I see what these damn geologists can do, its like friggin Michael Anglaloe, that guy from Stettler.  With Rocky’s new medium to work with, our geoscience team creates nice, valuable, but very simple images that even our executives and board members can understand.  The details get a little lost most of the time, but thats to be expected from such high functioning individuals.  – Mulder Hipstrek, CEO Wilder & Wilder Exploration.

Below is one of  Rocky’s latest net pay maps based on an undisclosed play due to confidentiality issues. The pure gold of the medium can be seen in the blended nature of the rock quality, and such an obvious consideration to the complex underlying geological structures and features in the subsurface and facies deposition.  This new technology may soon render digital reservoir modelling obsolete.

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Netpay map created by Rocky Mindsporge – undisclosed basin

 

The Rock-On line will conveniently lend itself to geophysical processing as well, with full scale siesmic profiling and interpretation to be done as a mural on a new highrise in downtown Dallas.  The idea being if geophysicists are given artistic freedom, they may eventually adapt to straighter lines and a more Zen-like approach to the science of picking tops.  The future is bright for the finger-painted-geological medium, and we’ll be watching Rocky as his career makes a step change to the next level!  (or fails miserably)

 

34 COMMENTS

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