MWD hand awakens from 13 hour nap, stuck in couch, loses arm

DAWSON CREEK, British Columbia – An accident at a drilling location halted work for several hours yesterday while rescue crews worked to save the life of 41 year old Brody Hadden. The veteran MWD contractor was asleep on the couch between surveys and failed to realize his arm had gotten stuck between the cushions.  Eye witnesses say the more he struggled the more it wedged into the mechanism of the couch and eventually rescue staff were called in from nearby Dawson Creek.

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Kory Masterchuck, P. DD.

He was laying there screaming about his damn pulse signal, didn’t even really seem to recognize his arm was bleeding. Poor guy, I’ve known him for 10 years and he was so dedicated. It just goes to show you that being lazy can kill you, and out here, we’re all guilty of it, pretty much all the time.- Kory Masterchuck, Directional Driller

First responders arrived and immediately began to rip the couch apart in an attempt to access the mechanism clamped on to Brody’s arm. When they saw the mouse fecal material and other dirt behind and underneath the couch, they quarantined the site as a HAZMAT location and donned SCBA gear to continue the extrication. 45 minutes later, Brody was free and being carried out of the festering rig shack on a spinal board.

Jacky Ripchest, paramedic
Jacky Niceones, paramedic

We got in to that shack and saw the mess. It was unreal, I’ve never seen anything like it.  Chips and garbage, hundreds of empty cans of Coke and Redbull. And the porn all over the place – on the TV, walls, magazines on the floor, it was disgusting. There were maybe 7 computers in there too, and 5 of them had porn on them, one had Poker, and the other was just a screensaver repeating Drill Baby Drill.  I almost puked. – Jacky Niceones, DC Fire & Rescue

While medics attended to the immediate injuries to Brodys arm, roughnecks guided the STARS helicopter to a landing point on top of pickup sled decks with the sleds removed. The long box heavy duty pickup trucks provided ample landing space for the STARS rescue helicopter. With STARS landed, Brody was moved into the chopper and flown to Edmonton for emergency surgery.

A photograph of one area of the field shack
A photograph of one area of the field shack, found on Jacky Niceones’ iPhone

We have never encountered a couch accident so severe. This poor man was asleep and got his rotator cuff twisted into the leveler lever on the right side of the spinjack knob in the couch. With his left forearm firmly trapped in the Fauxsuede bevel near the armrest, he was certainly not in a good spot, and the more he moved, the less good it got. The guys from DC Rescue did a fine job, and there is a good chance we may even save the arm, which Brody has named Sheila. – Dr. Patto Lostnuts, MD

Family members have told 2P News that from that point on, it was touch and go for the seasoned consultant. His arm has been saved for the time being, but his career as an MWD hand is most certainly over.