New technology at recruitment agency screens candidates by resume thickness

resumes
HR recruitment general specialist wishing there was a machine that could make his life easier.

CALGARY, Alberta – Screening resumes has been a bane for many HR departments and oil and gas recruitment agencies across the globe. But a Calgary-based firm is about to revolutionize the way candidates are screened with a remarkably simple, yet very effective process.

An HR whizkid at Bobert Two-Thirds, a senior oil and gas recruiter who has been in the business since 1973, has developed a process that significantly reduces the upfront resources required to screen potential candidates and thereby streamlined the hiring process.

Marion perrtinkle
Marion Perrtinkle

The 19-year old community college graduate created the process that automatically eliminates candidates whose resumes do not meet a client supplied pre-specified thickness. Marion Perrtinkle describes the genesis of his idea:

I noticed that my boss would spend hours sifting through literally thousands of resumes, and she would only completely read 20 or so. After comparing the discard pile and the second review pile, I noticed that in all cases, the discarded resumes were thinner.

 

So I figured I’d create a machine that would automatically compress each resume, determine paper thickness using a 5.6Nm purple laser, which punches a needle hole through the resume.  If the resume were determined to be printed on 24lb paper (indicating they cared about presentation) and had a minimum number of 6 pages, the resume would be filed into bin A.  If the paper were to thin, or the resume less than 5 pages, it would be sent to bin B and shredded for recycling.

 

I always used to see my boss’ desk stacked with thousands and thousands of resumes, and I thought to myself, “If I can make my boss’ working life easier, it can only mean good things for me.”

Conceptual rendering of RPF-34t Autofiler
Conceptual rendering of RPF-34t Autofiler

With the machines set to be manufactured in Thailand for the first 6 prototypes, it is obvious that Bobert TT is going to make a fast run at revolutionizing the way staffing is done in Calgary, and possibly across Canada.

If the initial run of the physical processing machine works, a plan for an Android App is also in the works to screen digital resumes by the number of ASCII characters found within the document.  When asked why an app for Android but not for Apple, Mason Perrytinkle replied,

I don’t see how anyone that uses an iPhone is very good for anything other than Tweeter and FaceMaker.  This is a serious business and there is no time for Angry Pets or Instagrin in the business world.  I’m only 19 and even I know how to get serious, and Apple is not serious. So all those business people walking around downtown looking “busy” on your iPhones, give your head a shake – we all know what you’re up to, and it’s not business.

birds
Man on C-Train who at first glance looks busy doing work, is actually playing Angry Pets.

PNG operator Bendovus Energy is also in talks to use the technology to screen candidates for its Calgary-based campus opening this fall.  Applicants can be sorted by the sheer volume of effort they put into their application, rather than having staff doddle through mounds of useless course information that really has nothing to do with Bendovus’ corporate vision of world domination.