Oil company misinterprets road sign, bulldozes swingset and builds oil lease

REGINA, Saskatchewan – Cheaterson Energy LLC was responsible for demolishing a playground in Hesterboom, Alberta last week.  An oil well slated to be drilled 3km north and 2 km east of the site began construction of the lease on Tuesday, albeit in the wrong location.  Company spokesperson Catherine Stogal-Marks-Eastuitz said a lack of intelligence on the part of the contractor resulted in the incident.

Apparently confusion ensued when a contractor saw a sign reading “End playground zone” and took it to be the ‘big yellow sign’ that had been erected at the drilling location.  “To me, End Playground means end the playground, finish it!” commented Ted Durfish, a laborer involved at the scene, “Not my fault those idiots can’t make a better sign!”

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Kent Aberkrispy

“I was curious what kind of a well Cheaterson was planning to get here, in the middle of the schoolyard, but that’s not my job, that’s those damn rock lickers.  The slide looked pretty new though, and that threw me for a loop, but we had a job to do dammit, and time is money,” – Kent Aberkrispy, field construction coordinator

 

Comments have been restricted since the initial interviews, and both Ted and Kent have reportedly been redistributed to an oilfield in northern Siberia.

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Actual playground zone sign that was bulldozed down in broad daylight

Local townsfolk are happy with amends Cheaterson is making as talks continue at the Banff Springs Hotel.  One resident noted, “We got all kinds of apologies and handshakes from these nice people, and they offered to drill 2 more wells in our area royalty free, so I guess we’re pretty lucky.”

School children are being shuttled to and from school by helicopter each day, so their homework doesn’t pile up during negotiations.

Cheaterson’s best oil producer is still operating across the street from the former playground in the town church parking lot – pump jack and all.

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