OPHC meeting planned to decide the fate of oil industry

MUNICH, Germany – A date has been set by the Organisation of Petroleum Hoarding Countries to decide the fate of the global oil and gas industry.  The December 28th meeting will include many G8 nations in addition to the OPHC members, hopefully resulting in a solution to the world’s current and forecasted glut/demand situation that has been progressively dragging oil prices down over the last 12 months.

AHISH MACLEAN CORTEZ, OPHC SPOKESMAN
Jahish Maclean Cortez, OPHC spokesman

“We have convened this meeting to try and solve the price issue.  Many OPHC members are quietly giving up private fortunes trying to stave off public embarrassment, but that only goes so far.  If we can convince nations outside of OPHC to help us by cutting their production to help their karma, we will succeed in this endeavour.” – Jahish Maclean Cortez, OPHC Spokesman

OPHC has been burdened with the drop in oil prices since OPEC deemed its market share was falling too drastically in late 2014, and then decided to continue pumping oil at record levels.  Since that time, many OPEC nations that also belong to OPHC have maintained or increased their production levels in the face of falling profits and disastrous market declines.

While OPEC nations have full media exposure, it seems that behind the scenes, OPHC has been quietly running the show.

Jack Flaskett. Just chillin'.
Jack Flaskett. Just chillin’.

“OPEC is a big, public, mess.  When you pit them against the Americans, it gets ugly.  OPHC on the other hand hides in the shadows, includes 90% of the American oil and gas operators, and excludes nations they simply don’t like.  Period.  They are extremely ruthless, and right now OPHC has 3 members running for the American presidential candidacy.  That’s how engrained they are in the industry.” – Jack Flaskett, The Independent Pump

While there is little speculation on what OPHC could probably do to help the current economic crisis, members that have been speaking to the press seem optimistic.  Many think that shutting off all production in certain countries such as Venezuela, Canada, and Mexico, could quickly and easily cease the glut; opposition to such a move could get ugly.

Many opponents agree that there could be strong backlash from armed and dangerous Albertan and Mexican militias fighting for their livelihoods.

With nearly 10 weeks before the meeting, the industry may have to look for other measures of change before extreme measures are taken by OPHC.

1 COMMENT

  1. Wait a minute. OPHC is Organization of Prostitutes, Hookers and Concubines. Should we sue?

    Kate Forney
    President, OPHC

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