CALGARY, Alberta – Much to the astonishment of onlookers, a well-dressed woman placed an extraordinarily sophisticated order at a busy downtown Calgary Starbucks. Mary Smithers stopped typing on her smartphone just long enough to rattle off the following:
I would like a quad ristretto iced venti whole milk organic 3 pump vanilla, 2 pump cinnamon dolce with foam and whipped cream upside down stirred latte, at 190 degrees fahrenheit with a dusting of fairy magic, a few drops of morning dew, a kiss of sunshine, and 7 tears of the child who labourer over the beans that made this very cup of coffee.
Darcy Flowman, an onlooker who overheard this order, remarked to Smithers,
Hey, listen here asshole! Get your head out of your ass you self-important bitch!
Now where is that roma tomato, semi-melted mozzarella, baby spinach and basil pesto on a piccolo roll that I ordered 15 minutes ago?! Hey Pablo, where the hell is that thing? Don’t mess with me, Pablo… can you dig it?!
According to eye witnesses, Mrs. Smithers was quoted as mumbling, “What is the matter with that crazy black man?” under her breath as she walked away from the busy downtown Starbucks location.