Petrophysicist concludes that tools time-travel downhole

timetravel_wormhole
A wormhole, or a rip in the space-time continuum, similar to the one that the petrophysicist believes was used to plant bad data in his wells.

CALGARY, Alberta – Riechard Tramontainouraet, a petrophysicst at Terminal Oil & Gas, recently finished 18 months of work on a field shared by Bendovus Energy and Cheaterson, only to have no real answers about where the production is coming from or why.  But using a complex series of equations that he found on Equat-A-Pedia and Gougle, there is an answer.  One that Doc and Marty McFly might understand.

Reichard claims that he has evidence from the logs that could not have been natural, and that a temporal rift in the open hole was used to plant bogus data, quite likely by future oil companies to keep the competition out of the game, in the past of course, which is his present.

Reichard
Riechard Tramontainouraet

There is no way to calculate or understand the readings I am getting out of my M-CF-F-IUYS tools, and the images from my CGD-HDI-8-UDT scanning imager are no better.  I even tried to run the YUD/LDK-LI-A32 high resolution Higgs-Bosonic scanner.

 

Nothing explained the reading, until I had a brandy with my old pal Einstein III.  Then it all came into focus.  Some sonsofbitch did it!

Reichard’s work has not been verified by anyone in the actual, pure, technical physics community, but petrophysics colleagues agree he could be right.  Mr. Tramontainouraet has a Bacholers degree in Cultural Topography, and a graduate degree in Uncertain Principles in Mathematical Art.  He also gets mad props from his homeys on LyncDIN.

Chairman Foh of the AAPFC had this to say:

imagesAfter all, there is very little that we can actually prove in this discipline, let alone measure with certainty. It is a good mix of guesswork and fairy dust.

– Dr. Rinehard Foh, chair of AAPFC. (American Association of Petrophysical Fudgework and Compromise)

Reichards equation
Mr. Tramontainouraet’s equation

Reichard is certain that using this equation, already developed in the future, hyper competitive operators (possibly Shall or English Petroleum) are lowering a specialized tool into old abandoned wells, and sending data through a temporal rift to his tool in the present, which is in the distance past for those dodgy operators.

All the data they need is there.  What day we logged, what tools we ran.  Results we got the first time.  If they change our data, they screw our company over.  – Mad rant by Reichard when Bendovus gets a mention

Riechard Tramontainouraet has been given a chance to prove his theory at a petrophysical conference in Siberia come December.  He is also scheduled to tour, with guest speaker Johan Fabroni (the inventor of the Neg Pay map), a busy lecture circuit through Columbia, Iraq, Chad, and various provinces in eastern Europe prior to reaching Siberia.  We wish all the best to Reichard and his theory.

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