Trans-Pacific pipeline proposal approved by China

JAMJAR, China – In a landmark political move, both daring and risky, Chinese President, Jirao Chen Chingtao Si, recently announced that his country will build a pipeline to bring crude oil and bitumen to his country’s refineries.  The announcement comes on the heels of the “We Love Mother Earth so Fuck You” conference in White Rock, BC, where protesters were up in arms about the green and the mother and the evil oilsands.  As much as was accomplished at this gathering, where some of the brightest minds in Canada congregated, it will undoubtedly be overshadowed by this recent announcement.

chinapresident

Chinese President Jirao Chen Chingtao Si

我们看到了新的曙光,为我们的人民,为世界的繁荣和新的经济,我们的应收账款。我们将收集所有的钱,他们欠我们在石油和黄金的形式。我们先从油。

(We see a new dawn for our people and a new economic boom for the world, and our debtors.  We will collect all the money they owe us in the form of oil and gold.  We start with oil.) – Jirao Chen, after the announcement

 

 

 

Pacific map of Project

Pacific map of Project

The pipeline will be built in an unusual fashion, and it will surely have adversaries from the environmental lobby.  It is designed as a triple-walled pipeline string with 36 and 30 inch casing, with an interior flow pipe diameter of 28 inches.  The caveat is that the outer two strings of casing are filled with Helium, and the pipeline is designed to float on the surface of the Pacific Ocean.  The Chinese have already begun to produce the thick, double-walled pipe in massive quantities, and claim it is far faster to forge and construct the pipeline than shipping tankers.  China has also started to re-evaluate identified shipping lanes between China and a port in Alaska, but revisions have not been seen as a hurdle, as most of the shipping companies are wholly owned divisions of the Chinese government.  A zone North of the pipelines route will be unpassable and termed ‘The Zone of Circular Travel‘.

The pipeline’s route will originate in the city of Quindoo, Wussah Province, and will run to a switching terminal in Hawaii.  From Hawaii the pipeline will be tentatively run to about 5km outside of Canadian waters, in anticipation that our Canadian government will approve the completion of it at that point.  Plans are under way here in Canada as well to build a line from Fort McMurray into the Yukon, over to Alaska, and then outward to the open ended CNOCC ‘floater’.  The flow of bitumen and dilbit from oilsands producers is expected to utilize a triple walled above ground line, monitored visually by a task force of highly trained Greenpeacers, First nations, and Inuit.

kengrabbagutch

Ken Graburgootch, Greenpeace

Absolutely ANY leakage or drips, or rust, or damage will be reported and immediately repaired! – Ken Graburgootch, Greenpeace

During the interim waiting period, if the Canadian side of the pipe is delayed, China has plans to pump seawater back through the pipeline from the coast of BC and desalinate it for sale as premium bottled water in China.

 

Dr. Darcy Flowman

Dr. Darcy Flowman is a 2P News co-founder. Before transitioning into a career in news publishing, Dr. Flowman worked as a Reservoir Engineering technician working up reservoirs throughout the entire Western Canadian Sedimentary Basin. Darcy holds a B.Sc. in applied engineering physics, a M.Sc. in restorative arts, and a Ph.D. in overnight cemetery management.

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One Response to Trans-Pacific pipeline proposal approved by China

  1. Edmund May 5, 2014 at 3:10 PM

    This is all we need. Fuck!

    Reply

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